"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
So if you know me at all, you pretty much know that I don't like being seen as a weak person; I automatically attribute emotional vulnerability to weakness (mind you I have a double standard so I only see this in myself and not in others... I'm some counselors nightmare ha). I don't know what it is with me and where I really got this idea, but for some reason I've always seen crying, or feeling any kind of emotion that requires you to be vulnerable,as a sign of weakness and I don't like people to think I'm weak. I come from a long line of strong people. A long line of people who have persevered through very difficult times, so I try everything I can to uphold the family name and be strong so that when everyone sees me, they will see a representation of the family I come from.
Anyway, two years ago, I met someone who challenged my thoughts on vulnerability (not directly, but in our interactions I was required to push against my personal limitations and my emotional walls) and ever since I've been trying to shake this crazy anti vulnerability thing... and it's been really difficult (it takes a while to undo years of self induced crazy haha). A week ago I read a bible passage that really shone a light on how I was addressing this issue. I realize that I can sit there and try to change my classification of weakness, or I can change my understanding of what weakness means... don't know if that makes sense but here's how I see it, in 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
I realize through reading this passage that I really can't automatically change my understanding of what weakness is, I've conditioned myself to believe that, but I can change my feelings towards it. knowing that God's power is made perfect in my weakness shows me that its alright to be vulnerable because in my vulnerability God can do great things... honestly, don't know about you but it makes me more willing to cry a little, or love a little, or open myself up to someone knowing that in doing so, what I perceive as weakness is actually strength and in my sharing my weakness God's work can be done.
So if you know me at all, you pretty much know that I don't like being seen as a weak person; I automatically attribute emotional vulnerability to weakness (mind you I have a double standard so I only see this in myself and not in others... I'm some counselors nightmare ha). I don't know what it is with me and where I really got this idea, but for some reason I've always seen crying, or feeling any kind of emotion that requires you to be vulnerable,as a sign of weakness and I don't like people to think I'm weak. I come from a long line of strong people. A long line of people who have persevered through very difficult times, so I try everything I can to uphold the family name and be strong so that when everyone sees me, they will see a representation of the family I come from.
Anyway, two years ago, I met someone who challenged my thoughts on vulnerability (not directly, but in our interactions I was required to push against my personal limitations and my emotional walls) and ever since I've been trying to shake this crazy anti vulnerability thing... and it's been really difficult (it takes a while to undo years of self induced crazy haha). A week ago I read a bible passage that really shone a light on how I was addressing this issue. I realize that I can sit there and try to change my classification of weakness, or I can change my understanding of what weakness means... don't know if that makes sense but here's how I see it, in 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
I realize through reading this passage that I really can't automatically change my understanding of what weakness is, I've conditioned myself to believe that, but I can change my feelings towards it. knowing that God's power is made perfect in my weakness shows me that its alright to be vulnerable because in my vulnerability God can do great things... honestly, don't know about you but it makes me more willing to cry a little, or love a little, or open myself up to someone knowing that in doing so, what I perceive as weakness is actually strength and in my sharing my weakness God's work can be done.
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